My story is different from those of most “advanced materneal age” mothers. Dan and I were married when I was 38 (he was 41) on Oct. 15, 2005. We were together for 4 years while waiting for the paperwork to go through on his divorce.I would not allow myself to get pregnant before getting married and we needed to get that union dissolved before moving forward. So, we waited to start our family even though we both wanted more children.
We got full custody of Dan’s son, Deric, when he was 3 ½ yrs. old. He is a well adjusted 13 yr. old now who knows the three of us all as his parents.
A Healthy Baby Boy
With our wedding plans were underway, we decided to stop taking birth control in June 2005…knowing it might take a year or longer to get pregnant. In September 2005, I was dizzy at work. Before going to a fitting appointment for my wedding dress, I bought a pregnancy tes — and it was positive!
My obstetrician was concerned for my high-risk pregnancy as I was super-obese at the time (weighing over 350 pounds) and 38 years old.
I had many check ups and ultrasounds and all was well; a very uneventful pregnancy that ended way too soon. My water broke for no reason (I blame the obesity) at 32 weeks and after an emergency c-section, Collin Clarence Joseph Cormier came into our world on 3/22/06 at 5 lbs., 3 oz and 18 ½ inches long.
Collin was huge for his gestational age. The NICU staff assured us he would be fine with some help from them. Seven weeks later, he came home. He had some digestion issues that he outgrew, thank goodness. Today, he is a thriving 6 yr. old and healthy in every way.
Time To Shape Up
With the passing of time and my age increasing, we conceded to being the parents to two great boys knowing we have been blessed with them in our lives. I made the decision (finally) to change my life and joined Weight Watchers in October of 2008.
I was very successful working the plan and by September 2010 I’d lost a total of 160 pounds. I was in the best shape and health of my life and I felt great. I still needed to lose 50 pounds to be where I wanted on the scale but all was good.
With the weight loss, my menstrual cycle was out of whack even on birth control. I urged Dan to have a vasectomy, knowing my cycle was not to be trusted. He finally met with his urologist in March of 2011 and made the appointment for June of that year.
But one week later (three days before Dan’s vasectomy appointment) I felt dizzy at home…
uh-oh…the only other time that happened was…
uh-oh…no way…now that I think of it, I’m late…
but I took my pills…
uh-oh…time to go to the drug store…
Sure enough, after three different tests, I was pregnant!
At 44 years old. Oh No…
Seriously? But I Was On The Pill!
Dan was thrilled and elated from the first minute we found out.
I wish I could say I was, but I admit I wasn’t. I was worried, I was scared, I was nervous, I was old and I was tired. What were we going to do?! HOW were we going to do?! How will we afford another mouth to feed?! We had given away everything baby related; we were “done” after all. And with Collin about to start kindergarten, we were finally free from the cost of daycare.
So many thoughts, so many doubts, so much worry, but on the other hand…I was pregnant and I was healthy and I had a new life growing inside me!
I made my ob appt right away and confirmed (Thank You, Jesus!)that there was ONE healthy embryo. Twins and triplets run in my family.
Again, I had no morning sickness or nausea, lucky me.
Watching the news one night, they broke a story about the birth control pill Lo-Ovral and how it was mispackaged…the placebo pills were put in place of the hormone pills and vice versa, so, the woman was three weeks without any protection.
Guess what pill I was taking? So, there was our answer to “how”, lol.
Sweeter The Second Time Around
The doctors assured me that my age didn’t matter and what did matter was that I was healthy and took care of myself. They said I had better numbers than many of the 20 and 30 year old patients they saw.
We had all the tests we could to make sure it was a healthy baby. If there was anything wrong, we wanted to know and prepare to deal with what was coming our way.
The amnio results were great, the ultrasounds were perfect, the glucose test came back too low…I had to up my protein intake. All went as good as it could possibly go. I was down to the final couple months.
I loved being pregnant this time as far as feeling the baby move around and kick and punch. I felt robbed of that with Collin as I was so obese and he was so early, I never felt him move inside me. For the last month, I went for bi-weekly non-stress tests that were always fine. The baby was great and happy to be just where she was.
We scheduled a c-section birth as the option was available and I am a planner. Melanie Simone Cormier joined our family on 1/27/12 and weighed in at a whopping 10 pounds 1 ounce and 23 inches long. The first words out of the doctor…She never ends! All the worry, all the stress, all the doubts…everything gone with the sound of her crying.
Living For Today
Fast forward to today. What a blessing we were given. Melanie is a healthy baby girl. She has been sleeping through the night since she was two…yes, two…months old. She is extremely good-natured, calm, and just plain happy most of the time. She is our joy. The boys love her and now that she’s crawling and curious, they are playing with her more and more.
I do have worries…I’m a Mom, that’s my job. Will I be here when she graduated high school and college? Will I see her marry? Will I see her have children?
Reality is what reality is. If she waits until later in life, like me, I may not witness these life changing events of hers. I told myself I have to live in today. Today, I am here for her and the boys. Today, I need to take care of myself and get back into shape and give myself as much time on this planet as possible. Today, I am their world and I wouldn’t change that for anything.
Some gifts we ask for and some we receive without knowing we really wanted them more than anything…she was/is my best surprise ever. I know to cherish each moment of her life and not rush through stages.
I think that being an “older mom” gives me that knowledge. Pros and Cons to everything, I suppose. I love the age difference between the three kids. There is no sibling rivalry that I see when they are
very close in age. They each have their own friends and they are best friends.
Hope you enjoyed my story and may we all find happiness in this journey of life.
Forty-six-year-old Denise Melanson Cormier is wife to Dan, mother to 13 year old stepson Deric, six year old son Collin, and 10 month old Melanie.